When I first discovered this thing called “Lifeonaire”, one of the thing that most appealed to me was the concept of being able to define success my way. Truth be told, it continues to be one of the most appealing things for me about the message today—an idea that I think resonates with a lot of people when they get a chance to hear it.
I’ve noticed a tendency in the culture outside Lifeonaire to believe that bigger or faster or more is always better. I’ve noticed lately that it’s a deeply ingrained belief that still runs around in my head even today, and with enough strength and influence to affect my progress towards my Vision
If I’m not careful, I see a tendency in my own life to want to “maximize” my opportunities. In my own mind, this often means financially because that is how our Distorted American Culture culture measures everything.
So here I am teaching others to why and how to craft a Vision for their life without letting someone else’s opinion matter. While at the same time allowing the cancer of our “maximizing earnings at all cost” culture subtly influence my own life decisions.
There comes a time when life isn’t about money.
I’m serious. There is a time when other things are more important—when earning even one more dollar takes away from something that is more important than that next dollar.
If you don’t believe that, I’m sorry but you’re living someone else’s Vision for your life. There’s no two ways about it—you may be telling yourself and others that money isn’t the most important thing to you, but if you can’t walk away from it when it presents itself as an opportunity you don’t really need…you’re just fooling yourself.
I also notice a tendency within the culture outside Lifeonaire to always counsel others to maximize their earnings from the opportunities that present themselves. It’s as if to not maximize your earning is somehow immoral or stupid in many people’s thinking.
Hear me now:
This is a false belief that leads to bad decisions and wrong thinking.
Enough is really enough when you know what you need to fulfill what you want because your vision is clear, solid and based on your definition of success (and not someone else’s) And chasing more just for the sake of more is just not living your Vision.
Similarly, I think somehow when I publicly proclaim a big, audacious physical goal, and then achieve, there are those who will quickly cheer me on and pat me on the back for that. But in my mind, some of the most significant and life changing events I’ve witnessed inside Lifeonaire have been small, slow, incremental, internal personal changes by people who are less extroverted and less vocal about it than I am.
The idea that “big, visible changes are noteworthy” is often just a limiting belief—a cultural norm that limits our ability to celebrate the less-visible, incremental progress of others steadily moving the ball forward. They’re to see and so easy to celebrate, but we must be diligent to notice the more significant but less obvious changes that really impact others and celebrate these internal changes, as they are so often more significant and life changing.
Enough is Enough!
We need to guard against the pressure from our culture to want more for ourselves and our peers—remembering that the appropriate question is,”Is this in my Vision?” and “Does this take me closer to, or further away from my Vision?”
Pressuring yourself to want more may be appropriate when you have limiting beliefs are holding you back, but when your Lifeonaire Vision is solid, and you acknowledge your peace with the size, scope and timing of your progress, let the “bigger is better” lie go—I want to help you celebrate that you’re living your Vision!
It’s really new ground for most of us to feel like we have enough, and the thought of not wanting more seems counter intuitive… and it is counter-cultural. Some readying this and simply disagree, and continue defining their success as getting more, bigger, faster. And many Lifeonaires have achieved a level in certain areas of life, to where staying where you are is enough.
As Lifeonaire coaches, I think we need to help others recognize those areas and establish a celebration and maintenance program to hold that progress.
I feel like it is a great problem to have. Talking about what to do when your life is like you wanted it to be is a a really fantastic conversation to have. I love that the issue is significant enough that I felt led to write about it. It is truly a great feeling to think that so many of you are there (or getting there) that we need to discuss it.
So, let’s look for ways to celebrate all the success (including the small ones and the slow ones) . And commit to be on guard for ourselves and those we love not to be too quick to “maximize” our opportunities. Enough really is enough!
What do you think? I’d love to read a comment from you below. 🙂
Great post Chuck.
Chuck, even today, just a few hours ago, I had a brush with this. I was driving down the road and saw a used car for sale for $1500. The thought popped into my mind that “I could buy that and they turn around and sell it on terms for $2500 and make some money”. But that thought was very quickly pushed out of my mind. No, I don’t want to do that. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and would rather not have the stress of having to collect payments from someone.
Many people now use this word, Monetize.
I have heard some Lifeonaires talk regularly about how to monetize EVERYTHING !
They have an interest or a hobby and want to get $$ from it.
I think this fits in with your idea.
Why do we have to make money off of everything?
I do not think that someone who makes $XXX is necessarily successful. They might be deeply in debt. They might have horrible relationships. They could be greedy. They cold be sick/unhealthy.
We need to define our own success.
Thank you for helping us do that.
Awesome discussion Chuck ! Being satisfied while still reaching for vision success is a tough one. My vision includes getting to that very point where I am rewriting my vision because I’ve nailed it ! I’m not there yet, but I see it. The gnats, instinctive competition, the desire to punch out a totally debt free environment and the natural busy environment around us, – push my perception towards taking the bait to push harder. Resisting the rat race is crazy hard even in thought ! Can you just put Lifeonaire in a pill form to simplify things for us ?? I do feel better because of your comments about the incremental successes. That would be me. If slow and steady wins the race, then I am in the lead !
Great article. Understanding when enough is enough is not always easy, even when you know you are there or near it. All of the things you said are true. Society makes us feel we are missing out, giving up or even quitting when finding peace and contentment is where we are. At some point we all have to ask ourselves do we have enough or we are in the rat race that we all are trying to get out of. That is why Lifeonaire is a great message. This is a key message that can’t be lost. It is a struggle for competitive people but I for one have come a long way, but I have more work to do for sure.
That’s an awesome post Chuck It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race.
Great post, Chuck. Still contemplating most of this. I think we tend to compare our successes with others and if not as “grand” as others, we tend to discount ours. Speaking for myself here. Slow and steady successes are successes none the less and Grand successes cannot be achieved without them.